Frederick's Harvest

New Beginnings

2011-05-18T18:58:00.000-07:00

well, here I am again - I know that it has been a while since I have last posted but I miss this opportunity to write and I miss sharing. I will fill you in on the past 4 years...give or take... I am looking forward to it -

Dreams...

2007-02-24T20:33:00.000-08:00

Lately it has become clearer that dreams are important. I think this has come more into the spotlight as a member of my high school graduating class has also come into the spotlight.

I was up in Blacksburg, VA for a graduate student conference this weekend. My parents drove down from NY to visit the rest of my state-side family in VA, and come and see me. My mother brought with her a number of newspaper clippings featuring my friend, Ryan Vanderhoof, whose Brooklyn-based band has received some notoriety lately on David Letterman, and in the pages of Rolling Stone Magazine.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akron/Family

I see his face in those pictures and remember standing beside him in chorus singing, performing beside him on the stage, and being in a select group with him who played one instrument in band and another instrument in jazz band. He arranged a song that the select chorus sang at our graduation ceremony. We were on the track team together for at least one season. And I think of him doing exactly what he has always wanted to do…play and share his music… I am so proud of him!

And so I look to my own dreams and aspirations. This conference helped me to do that.
It was a gathering of grad students practicing collegiality, practicing their presenting skills and trying out there ideas on people whom they only meet once a year. It was energizing!! I presented my thesis, and in the questions that were asked I remembered that I probably didn’t have to look too much further than the shortcomings of that project to see what more needed to be done in researching trust! I presented a roundtable session to hear how other departments were assessing student learning and got ideas about how to improve our own department. It’s not so much about learning new things as it is about taking what you already know and tweaking it just that much, just enough to make the old new again.

My dream is to be a professor somewhere and teach in a classroom and talk to college students and learn what they care about. I dream about having an office that I can decorate with wood paneling and wall hangings and talk about the important things in life…those things that are not discovered by research but in your own heart.

The journey to my dream has not been an easy one…and Ryan’s wasn’t easy either.
But I’m glad that I got to share in his dream in high school.
And there are so many that have shared in my dream as well.
Thanks…

OK

2007-01-17T08:01:00.000-08:00

So I didn't realize that my last post was at the end of October. The end of October!?
What was I thinking?!
Thanks to David for encouraging me to get my butt in gear and post something - Also, thanks Naomi for bringing it up a month ago. Roommates seem to get better results though.

Quick recap of the past 2 months:
Thanksgiving in VA with my parents, sister, her husband and their 2 kids (tons of fun!!)
The end of the last semester that I will be taking 2 3-credit hour courses (a lot of work)
Graduation with my Master's (Dec. 15 - the graduation of about 1,400 people took longer than I anticipated)
Road trip with my parents who attended graduation closely followed graduation (I haven't spent that much time with my parents in a car in a long time - it was good)
Time at home in NY (No snow, more time with my niece and nephew)
I took my sister and my niece and nephew back to VA at the end of December (more fun)
The beginning of January I was at the Passion Conference in ATL (in one word: amazing)

Lately, I have been getting back in the school groove, and having the MLK Jr. holiday helped. I took the opportunity to start more Bible study than reading books about the Bible. This has always been encouraging because I have a great word study that taps the original Greek - the original Greek meanings behind the English words will blow your mind!!

I have resumed my study of 1 John, starting again at chapter 4, but here is a passage from chapter 3 as it was translated in my word study. The translation is not paraphrased, so it keeps the word order of the Greek. This means that it helps to imagine this passage the Yoda would say it:

1 John 3: 1-

Behold, what exotic [foreign to the human heart] love the Father has permanently bestowed upon us, to the end that we may be named children [born ones] of God. And we are. On this account the world does not have an experiential knowledge of us, becuase it has not come into an experiential knowledge of Him. Divinely loved ones, now born-ones of God we are. And not yet has it been made visible what we shall be. We know absolutely that whenever it is made visible, like ones to Him we shall be, because we shall see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope continually set on Him is constantly purifying himself just as that One is pure.

v. 4 - Everyone who habitually commits sin, also commits lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. And you know absolutely that that One was manifested in order that He might take away our sins; and sin in Him does not exist. Everyone who in Him is constantly abiding is not habitually sinning. Everyone who is constantly sinning has not with discernment seen Him, nor has he known Him, with the result that that condition is true of him at present. Little born-ones, stop allowing anyone to be leading you astray. The one who habitually does righteousness is righteous, just as that One is righteous. The one who is habitually committing sin is out of the devil as a source, because from the beginning the devil has been sinning. For this purpose there was manifested the Son of God, in order that He might bring to naught the works of the devil (v. 8).

Most tranlations say, how great is manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God - But it is more than that; it is a foreign love. As you continue to read 1 John 3 and 4 you see that this is the same kind of love that we are to show to fellow Christ followers and even people of the world - this foreign kind of love; a love that is self-giving, agape love. But the world doesn't understand this love because it is foreign...they don't know what to do with it, so they discount it or marginalize those who show it...
What if the American Christian Church started showing love as the Father has shown us, this foreign love that He bestowed on us that we are His Children ---what if...

A lot

2006-10-20T07:59:00.000-07:00

A lot has been going on in these last few weeks.
October has been a very busy month, and we are only half-way through, which is hard for me to beleive. The month started off with a quick trip to homecoming at Cedarville University. At my alma mater I visited with several friends that I have not seen in too long.
Upon my return to Auburn I prepared to defend my thesis on Wednesday (which I passed), and lead the discussion in the Adolescents I am taking on Thursday. That was a crazy week! But upon the completion of the week, I got to hang out with two friends who will be moving to Oregon soon. And on Saturday I went to Atlanta to see a musical called "The Light in the Piazza," which was beautiful.

Basically, the last two weeks have been a combination of ups and downs, but mostly ups.
It seems that I have been averaging about two posts a month, which is not an accurate indicator of all that is going on. I hope to share a bit more, but there is one experience from my trip to Ohio that I want to remember and treasure:
I had a late start on Thursday so I traveled late into the night. During one stop at a gas station I went into the store to get some water. As I was waiting to pay the attendant behind the register was very cheerful and pleasant to each of the people that passed through. A couple of ladies who were in line behind me were saying, "she's starting out the shift like this, let's see if she's the same at 5:00 in the morning." The attendant replied, "This is my shift, and the I want to use it to share all that the Lord has done for me."

Lord, grant me, grant us all the courage to declare, "This is my shift, this is my time, and I am going to use it to share God's love and glory with those who come across my path."

Autumn Again

2006-09-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

It's Autumn again. You wouldn't know it from the trees. But I know it is because the shadows grow longer earlier in the afternoon, and the air is a lot cooler for more of the day.
I love Autumn. Those of you who have read this blog for the past year have probably figured that out. I have been thinking about posting about Autumn for a while but only now found the time.

One morning as I was walking to campus I thought about why I love autumn so much.
I remembered high school soccer games, the smell of fresh cut grass, and the chill of the air running across the field.
I remembered the dreary cloudy days in New York and Ohio where all you wanted to do was stay at home in your pjs and watch the rain come down, or football on tv.
I remembered several Autumns during which I found myself in a new place.
Fall of my junior year I was at Cedarville, followed by Focus on the Family Institute in Colorado, then Beijing, China, and then my most recent stop, Auburn, Alabama. Each Autumn holds the seeds of new beginnings.

I think when most people think of Autumn, they think of things dying. The leaves change color, and die and fall leaving trees barren. Crops die, which is why we harvest. But even in that there is hope. Even Jesus said of his own death, "Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."

I think Autumn is most special to me because it is evidence that even when things change, they are renewed. It is a reminder of many special things in my life, having planted seeds, they may now come to fruition. It is a reminder that though there is death, life remains victorious.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

2006-09-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like my life is made up of several lives.
It seems like a lifetime since I was in college and yet my graduating class is only celebrating our fifth anniversary since graduating. And yet it was four years ago that I returned from China.

I think I just miss all the different activities that I participated in during college.
I was a musician once. I still am in many ways. Much like many people don't realize that I am actually from New York state, they may not realize that I earned a music minor in college.
I give small clues to my musical abilities though - if you listen closely enough; whether it's harmonizing with choruses we're singing, or anticipating the next chord in the bridge of the song that's being played.

In college I was a member of the Brass Choir and played the trombone, and I was in the symphonic band and played the french horn. Both instruments now sit in my room suffering from neglect. I also sing, and did so in college more regularly.
It was in my Freshman year of college that I began to understand more about what worship in song meant, and then later how worship also involved surrender.

There was a singing group that just began my freshman year at Cedarville. It was called Jubilate and it was described as a worship team, but it was composed of some 70 voices, which is a large singing group by any stretch of the imagination. But we sang praises to God and thanked him for all the ways that He had been faithful in our lives. For example, during one performance for the Cedarville chapel time a number of us were invited to tell of the things for which we were most thankful. I was most thankful that my grandmother, who had been suffering from pancreatic cancer, had been ushered into eternity and was enjoying that life free from the earthly body. Such was the worship and praise of this group...to encourage an eternal view of life.
We also had the chance to accompany a Christian vocalist named Steve Camp.
It was this experience that has caused me to think the most on that spring of my freshman year.
The title of the album that he was then promoting was "Mercy in the Wilderness."
It instantly endeered itself to my heart in a number of ways, but mostly in the sixth track of that CD: Wonderful, Merciful Savior.

Wonderful, Merciful Savior, precious redeemer and friend,
who would have thought that a lamb could rescue the souls of men, oh, you rescue the souls of men.

Counselor, comforter, keeper, Spirit we long to embrace. You offer hope when our hearts have hopelessly lost the way. Oh we hopelessly lost the way.

You are the One that we praise, You are the One we adore. You give the healing and grace our hearts always hunger for.

Almighty, Infinite Father, faithfully loving Your own. Here in our weakness you find us.
Falling before Your throne, oh, we're falling before Your throne.

I think that may be why I am so disappointed when our worship meetings focus on a handful of songs: because the songs that mean the most to me are not the ones that are new, but they are the ones that communicate the most to God from my heart. And communicate the most between God's heart and my own.

I guess the main point for these recollections was as a vehicle for sharing those song lyrics,
but to also express the pilgrimmage. I am not what I once was, and yet that person was the starting point for who I am now. And He has been with me the whole way.
Praise Him for His faithfulness!

Whiter than Snow

2006-08-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

I was attending the Thursday night worship service called Encounter, when I heard it.
The speaker mentioned the phrase, "White than snow." He used it in the typical context
of Jesus' blood washing our sins away so we are "whiter than snow", or without blemish
when we approach our God. I've sung it and said it many times, but this time I sat on it,
and thought about it.

I remembered the mornings in Central New York when you went outside after it has snowed
the night before. Nothing had disturbed the snow yet; no stray dogs; no sledders.
The white snow was pristine like millions of diamonds on the ground.

Then I remembered the series the Louie Giglio presented at 722 in Atlanta this summer.
One of the things he talked about was shining so people would know that you were marked by
Christ. When you go outside after a snow storm and the snow is new, and the sky is clear and the sun shines off the snow it is blinding. The glare is so bad that sometimes sunglasses are needed.

Think of it. Our sin is washed away and we are white as snow if we believe that Jesus' sacrifice was the sufficient sacrifice to pay for our sins. So white that you would appear to be glowing.
So white that you can reflect the light of the Son.

Cars

2006-08-05T13:50:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember that I visit Disney World in Florida with my family at the end of June/ beginning of July. It was a good time, though it didn’t last long enough. The first three days were hectic, checking into hotels, spending a day (or at least a few hours) at Islands of Adventure, picking people up at the airport and attending a wedding during the weekend. However, the last three days were wonderful because I had the chance to wander the Magic Kingdom and Epcot by myself. Some people might think that going to Disney World by yourself is pointless because you are not with friends, but being there by myself allows me do my own thing and actually enjoy it, and enjoy the thoughts and feelings that I have there. Four years ago I went by myself and it was a great retreat after my first year of grad school. Not that I don’t enjoy being with others while at Disney, but by myself I can see every movie at each country at Epcot’s World Showcase, speed onto rides as a single rider, and actually enjoy Stitch’s Great Escape in Tomorrow Land, whereas when with a large group I might have the opportunity to visit a couple of the countries at Epcot and the suggestion of going into Stitch’s Great Escape would get shot down.

Anyway, my visit to Disney coincided with reading “Waking the Dead” by John Eldridge and he talks a lot about stories and how our story is significant in God’s grand scheme. The thing about Disney World is that it is built on stories – stories that that we grew up with and have been endeared to our hearts over the years. And being a theme park/amusement park, you can go on rides or enjoy exhibits that allow you to enter the story. And it got me thinking about how often we get lost in other people’s stories and forget to attend to our own. We might be so wrapped up helping others that we don’t notice when we haven’t done something for our own enjoyment, or trying to appease those around us so much that we have forgotten our own agenda. But sometimes stories can mirror so much of how we want life to be, or how we have found life to be; our hopes and dreams and ambitions, and disappointments.

I think some of the best story-tellers in filmmaking right now can be found at Pixar. There is something about their stories that grip our hearts, and something about the characters that allows us to identify with them and join them in their adventure. The latest Pixar installment is the movie “Cars”, which is appropriate because it is a film about cars. I went to see this movie the weekend before traveling to Florida and I loved it! I didn’t love it because it was exciting or action-packed or really funny, though it had elements of each. I loved it because it reflected part of my story in so many ways.

If you haven’t seen this movie yet, pardon me as I tell a little bit about the storyline, or go see it and then come back and resume reading :0)
A race car, who is on top of the world finding success on the racing circuit gets lost on his way to the final championship race and finds himself in a tired old town forgotten by time. He has to stay in town for several days and at first he is in a hurry to leave so he can to the race so he can win, but the longer he stays the more he is endeared to the “people” of the town, and they are endeared to him. He finds real friends and real community. I’m not saying that I’m going to go get a job at NASCAR or anything, but in graduate school people are so intent on getting it done, getting out, rushing, graduating. Actually, a lot of things in life are like that…but in my experience it was grad school. After a semester best summed up as exhausting my advisor and I thought it best to slow down, and I have kept a steady pace since then, and it has allowed me to enjoy so much more than classes, but the interesting people whom I have met.

I have heard several people complain that the movie “Cars” is too slow. They take too long to tell the story and there are some scenes that are unnecessary. Isn’t that the point though? This car was all in a rush, and couldn’t enjoy his life. Once he slowed down he could enjoy life and he had friends with whom he could enjoy life. He realized that not everything that glitters is gold, but also that some of the rusting things are better than gold. Jesus used stories to get some points across as well. We are still reading his stories but we don’t see them portrayed in film as often as might be good for us. I don’t think the people at Pixar had a Christian message in mind as the made the movie (or maybe they did) but in the hustle and bustle of life, this movie is a tribute to all the things we often forget, like sometimes the most important thing is friendship, and friendship develops over time – and you have to take that time…no one takes it for you.
So take some time… and enjoy what Father has given you.

High Noon

2006-07-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

As you can probably tell from my previous post, there's been a lot on my heart lately, and a lot on my mind, considering the clock is ticking and my thesis is still not completed.
But last week I had the opportunity to rest and attend an Andrew Peterson concert, and it was glorious! And he performed all the songs that are close to my heart, but he closed with the best of all. On this Friday in July 2006, here are some thoughts about events that happened on a Passover weekend almost 2000 years ago. The name of the song is Hight Noon...

High noon in the valley of the shadow When the deep of the valley was bright
When the mouth of the tomb shouted, "Glory, the groom is alive"
So long, you wages of sin go on, Don't you come back again
I've been raised and redeemed; You've lost all your sting
To the victor of the battle atHigh noon in the valley
In the valley of the shadow

And the demons, they danced in the darkness
When that last ragged breath left his lungs
And they reveled and howled At the war that they thought they had won
But then, in the dark of the grave The stone rolled away
In the still of the dawn on the greatest of days

High noon in the valley of the shadow When the shadows were shot through with light
When Jesus took in that breath And shattered all death with his life
Be gone, you wages of sin Go on, don't you come back again
I've been raised and redeemed You've lost all your sting
To the victor of the battle High noon in the valley of the shadow

Let the people rejoice Let the heavens resound
Let the name of Jesus, who sought us And freed us forever ring out
All praise to the fighter of the night Who rides on the light
Whose gun is the grace of the God of the sky

High noon in the valley of the shadow When the shadows were shot through with light
When the mouth of the tomb Shouted, "Glory, the Groom is alive"
Be gone, you wages of sin Go on, don't you come back again
I've been raised and redeemed All praise to the king
The victor of the battle High noon in the valley In the valley of the shadow

Battling for one's heart

2006-07-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever tried to protect your heart from some danger, some struggle?
Have you succeeded, because I know I haven’t?
In “The Four Loves” C.S. Lewis describes some effort to protect one’s heart by not loving.

He says, “There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap I carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

I feel like this is what I have done to my heart, not to keep from loving, but to keep from being hurt in another way. Jesus of Nazareth once said that no man can serve two masters; he will hate one and love the other. I tried to serve two masters; God and academia. The story of my pain goes back to my second semester in graduate school. I was taking a course about theories of human development and family studies, and the last assignment was a paper discussing our “worldviews” of the topic and how all of these ideas could fit together. My first mistake was not starting the paper until the weekend before it was due. My second mistake was being naïve. To me, the word worldview has a connotation for how I see the world, and that is primarily as God in the center. I wrote a paper that drew upon theory and scripture and got a “C” on the paper. I was not prepared for that disappointment and when I talked to the professor about it he just dismissed me and my ideas.

Well, this past fall I was in another theories class, the doctoral one, and it was taught by that professor as well as another who would be equally, if not more dismissive of my ideas. I think I determined that I would not be hurt, I would not be dismissed and I would do anything I could to play by their rules. The problem was, by studying that hard and making that the priority, everything else in my life that brought life and joy was brushed aside. It was the first year since being at Auburn that I did not attend homecoming at Cedarville University – where I earned my bachelor’s degree – and I withdrew myself from almost all activity with Grace Campus Ministries. I forgot what is ultimately true and real and valuable – those things that bring life. Or maybe I didn’t forget but I accepted a shadow of the real, imitations, instead of the real.

I got a B in the class, but I lost a piece of myself that I didn’t realize I had lost until recently. I began rereading John Eldredge’s book “Waking the Dead” and it reminded me of the centrality of the heart and how important living from the heart is. I realized, I haven’t lived from my heart in a long time. So I feel awake, and new and alive – sort of like Eustace in “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” after he has been de-dragoned.

Eustace had been turned into a dragon, and was quite resigned to the fact that he would be a dragon forever, when Aslan brought him to a pool where he could bath. But, Aslan said that Eustace must undress first, so Eustace started shedding his dragon scales much like a snake would shed, but Eustace discovered that under each layer of skin he removed there was another layer…Eustace tells the story:
“The lion said…‘You will have to let me undress you’….The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off…He peeled the beastly stuff right off – just as I thought I’d done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt—and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker…and there I was smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me—I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on—and threw me in the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again.”

I feel like I’m myself again…or at least mostly like myself. I think I am still under attack from an enemy who doesn’t want me to be myself, who’d rather see my heart dead. So I am seeking my heart for love, for God, clearing the rubble in which it is trapped; the butterfly struggles out of its cocoon, that struggle for life from death.

thirsty?

2006-07-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading "Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret." It's a book about a missionary to China during the late 1800s, and his exercise of faith in God.
I am posting an excerpt here of a letter he wrote to his sister. I found it very encouraging and I hope you also will want to dive deeper with Father.

“And now I have the very passage for you, and God has so blessed it to my own soul! John 7:37 – 39 – ‘If any man thirst, let him come unto ME and drink.’ Who does not thirst? Who has not mind-thirsts, heart-thirsts, soul-thirsts, or body-thirsts? Well, no matter which, or whether I have them all – ‘Come unto me and’ remain thirsty? Ah no! ‘Come unto me and drink.’

“What, can Jesus meet my need? Yes, and more than meet it. No matter how intricate my path, how difficult my service; no matter how sad my bereavement, how far away my loved ones; no matter how helpless I am, how deep are my soul-yearnings – Jesus can meet all, all, and more than meet. He not only promises me rest – ah, how welcome that would be, were it all, and what an all that one word embraces! He not only promises me drink to alleviate my thirst. No, better than that! ‘He who trusts Me in this matter (who believeth on Me, takes Me at My word) out of him shall flow…’

“Can it be? Can the dry and thirsty one not only be refreshed – the parched soil moistened, the arid places cooled – but the land be so saturated that springs well up and streams flow down from it? Even so! And not mere mountain-torrents, full while the rain lasts, then dry again…but, ‘from within him shall flow rivers’ – rivers like the mighty Yangtze, ever deep ever full. In times of drought brooks may fail, often do, canals may be pumped dry, often are, but the Yangtze never. Always a mighty stream, always flowing deep and irresistible!

‘Come unto me and drink,’…Not, come and take a hasty draught; not, come and slightly alleviate, or for a short time remove one’s thirst. No! ‘drink’ or ‘be drinking’ constantly, habitually. The cause of thirst may be irremediable. One coming, one drinking may refresh and comfort: but we are to be ever coming, ever drinking. No fear of emptying the fountain or exhausting the river”
pp. 172-173.

2006-06-26T20:28:00.000-07:00

Guess What!!.....

Today is Tuesday (it's going to be Tuesday when you read this) and I am driving to Florida!
Now, that might not be a big deal to most of you, but what it means to me is that I get to drive for eight hours - that's right, I'm going to Disney World!!
See you on the other side :0)

Image

2006-06-23T18:14:00.000-07:00

I had this thought a while ago during one of my treadmill workouts. I had forgotten about it until I was sitting at my computer today.
So I’m sharing the thought now…

So many people are searching for justice and love. But the truth of it is, Jesus is the personification of all of the things people are searching for in their lives.

He embodied justice and mercy on the cross.
God is love, and Jesus is the “image of the invisible God” (Col. 1:15)
We search for acceptance, and Jesus did not condemn the woman caught in adultery (John 8) and yet he told her to leave her life of sin.

I’m sure there are others, but I can’t think of any more.
Feel free to add your own to the list.

Refreshing

2006-06-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

You know what happened last night?
It rained right here in Auburn, with the works:
thunder, lightening, downpours.
How long has it been since I last heard the sound of
water on pavement, roof or window?
And it came just when the sun was going down so the
water would have time to soak the ground!
God is so good!

Reminders

2006-06-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked up into the sky, in that big blue with the white fluffy clouds and wondered what things are really there, yet hidden from our eyes. That thought struck me the other day.
And I am reminded of that passage in 2 Kings 6 where the prophet Elisha and his servant are surrounded by soldiers, sent by a king who was ticked off that Elisha was all up in his business.

"When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. 'Oh, my lord, what shall we do?' the servant asked.
'Don't be afraid,' the prophet answered. 'Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.'
And Elisha prayed, 'O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.' Then the Lord opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha...

How much would our faith be increased if we could see with the eyes of the prophet, or maybe with the eyes of our hearts (Ephesians 1). To be reminded that all that exists is not material.

I also have been reminded twice in the last week that I am not from around these parts.
One older gentleman, named Tom, from our realty company came to our house to spray for bugs and check up on things. I answered the door for him and we started a conversation, and about one minute into our discusion he looked at me cocked his head to one side and said, "You're not from around here are you?" He didn't say it in an offensive way, but just to clarify.

Then Tuesday I went to a men's morning Bible study and we went around the room and each person said his name and where he's from. The states included Alabama, Tennessee and South Carolina (I don't remember any Georgias, but that's usually common as well. Then it was my turn and I said upstate New York (emphasis on the upstate). "A real live Yankee" was one comment.

Nope, not from around these parts, much like Abraham; the father of our faith. It's too easy to get comfortable in the day in, day out routine. We forget that this is just a transition. That's something else that Tom reminded me of: "This is just a stop for you. Lord knows where you'll be 2 or 5 years," he said. But then that's true of all who hope in Christ, who hope in that resurrection of the dead where we leave these earthly shells to have eternal bodies.

And the words to Rich Mullins' song, Step by Step go through my head one more time.

"And when I think of Abraham, how one star he saw had been lit for me.
He was a stranger in that land. I am that no less than he.
And on this road to righteousness, sometimes the climb can be so steep.
I may falter in my steps, but never beyond Your reach."

Children

2006-06-06T13:14:00.001-07:00

I was sitting at the local Panera Bread Co. and, taking a rest from my reading, I glanced around the room. I saw two children, one probably about 7 years old and the other no older than 3. They were playing or running, or any combination of the two...sure it was inside but they're kids, that's what they do. The mom walked past and she had this exasperated look on her face.

I think it's funny that parents forget that their kids are kids and want them not to pester you or annoy you or just be quiet. But they're kids. They may not remember five minutes ago when you told them no, so you have to say it again...or maybe they do but they want to know how tolerant you are going to be of disobedience. Sure, kids test their parents but they also have fun...it's actually their job to have fun. I mean, what else are they going to do...they don't really have any marketable skills...at least not in our society. But parents so easily lose patience with their kids because they have forgotten what it's like to be a kid. Parents are so used to being adults that they forgot what it's like not being an adult, and expect their kids to act like adults, and that just never works.

And what of God. I was reading in the first epistle of John this morning and time after time he refers to his audience as children of God. If we are children and God is our Father then why do we get so frustrated with ourselves when we have trouble walking, or talking or developing in other spiritual ways. I can't remember where this passage is found, but somewhere in scripture it says that God knows we are dust. Sure, He expects us to mature and grow in our knowledge of Him, just as we expect children to walk by the age of 2 or be off their nook by the age of 2 or three (four or five year olds still walking around with pacifiers is another matter).

I think that God gives us special enabling to understand and grow more and more, and we rely on Him more and more. But I think that when we are frustrated by our struggles or seeming lack of growth, we fall further backward, or stunt our progress more than just falling, standing back up and going on. Take courage, realize when you fall, ask God to give you strength and courage, and go on with Him. Don't dwell on it; confess it and go on... in and by His grace.

Abandon

2006-05-28T07:35:00.000-07:00

I’ve had the word abandon on my heart and mind a lot lately, I think, because that is how I have pursued my thesis over the past three weeks: with abandon.
I have committed myself to that process, working on my thesis every day, meeting with my advisor everyday to discuss the latest draft. As Webster’s Pocket Dictionary captures it, I have exercised “unrestrained enthusiasm”

I think there is a lot to be said about the implications of Abandon for how we walk with Christ. Much of the time we hear about surrendering to Christ, which is not what I am talking about here. Surrender is necessary in “giving up” one’s will and heart to Christ, saying “It is not I who live, but Christ who lives within me.” But there is also abandon; that giving oneself over to the pursuit of Christ so that all else fades into the background. I was reminded of this again when I revisited Philippians this morning and read in the third chapter, “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.”

And later on, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers (and sisters), I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal….” Everything else is a loss compared to knowing Christ; all else is forgotten as Paul strains and presses on toward Christ.

What does abandon mean to you?

Wild Flowers

2006-05-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

Lately (over the past 3 months) I have been reading some of the books that have been formative in my walk with Christ. One of the first books that I revisited was "Hind's Feet On High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it and if you are avoiding reading it, you don't know the blessing that you are missing.

It is a metaphor for the Christian life and the journey deeper into relationship with Christ. I read it for the first time as a senior in high school when Jars of Clay released their album called "Much Afraid" in reference to the song they wrote referencing the main character of the book.

I am just going to share one conversation that goes on between Much-Afraid and the Shepherd as they begin the journey to the high places in chapter 4.

Once the Shepherd stooped and touched the flowers gently with his fingers, then said to Much-Afraid with a smile, "Humble yourself, and you will find that Love is spreading a carpet of flowers beneath your feet."

Much Afraid looked at him earnestly. "I have often wondered about the wild flowers," she said. "It does seem strange that such unnumbered multitudes should bloom in the wild places of the earth where perhaps nobody ever sees them and the goats and the cattle can walk over them and crush them to death. They have so much beauty and sweetness to give and no one on whom to lavish it, nor who will even appreciate it."

The look the Shepherd turned on her was very beautiful. "Nothing my Father and I have made is ever wasted," he said quietly, "and the little wild flowers have a wonderful lesson to teach. They offer themselves so sweetly and confidently and willingly, even if it seems that there is no one to appreciate them. Just as though they sang a joyous little song to themselves, that it is so happy to love, even though one is not loved in return.

"I must tell you a great truth, Much-Afraid, which only a few understand. All the fairest beauties in the human soul, its greatest victories, and its most splendid acheivements are always those which no one else knows anything about, or can only dimly guess at. Every inner response of the human heart to Love and every conquest over self-love is a new flower on the tree of Love.

"Many a quiet, ordinary, and hidden life, unknown to the world, is a veritable garden in which Love's flowers and fruits have come to such perfection that it is a place of delight where the King of Love himself walks and rejoices with his friends. Some of my servants have indeed won great visible victories and are rightly loved and reverenced by other men, but always their greater victories are like the wild flowers, those which no one knows about. Learn this lesson now, down here in the valley, Much-Afraid, when you get to the steep places of the mountains it will comfort you."

Philippians 2:17 - But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

“There is no spoon”

2006-05-14T08:58:00.000-07:00

There’s something about The Matrix that just encourages me every time I watch it. I watched the film again the other day and was reminded of how there is more to this world than what our senses perceive. Also, we, as human beings are more than we appear to be. As Yoda so eloquently put it to Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back, “Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. C.S. Lewis agrees, and says in his essay The Weight of Glory that, “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.”

In The Matrix, the people were so distracted with the reality that the machines had constructed that they did not pay any attention to the thought "like a splinter in their mind" that said that something isn’t right. It is the same way in our own world. We are so consumed with the comforts and concerns of this world that we are enslaved to them. We long for a savior but see no relief in sight. Luke Skywalker had the same problem. He saw the condition of his X-wing fighter, and how stuck it was, and upon failing to free the aircraft from the swamp he complained that it was too big, and that Yoda demanded the impossible. And as Luke stomps off to pout, Yoda, focusing on the size of The Force rather than the size of the problem, manages to lift the X-wing completely from its watery prison. Neo also must learn that he must walk the path. He knows that he can free Morpheous but he doesn’t know why or how, he just knows he can. What if we focused on the size of our God, rather than the size of our circumstances?

Too often we humans, image bearers of God, given an immortal soul to live in communion with God or in separation from God, in seeking for the truth often say, “God, give me a sign that you’re real.” Then when he doesn’t deliver we say, “I knew it was all a lie” or “God has abandoned me.” But that isn’t it at all. The truth is that God knows that even if he were to provide some sign the heart that asks for a sign would not be willing to accept it anyway. Much like the Pharisees of Jesus day who watched Jesus heal the lame, restore sight, and free people from demon possession, and after all of this still asked Jesus to provide proof of the authority by which he performed these miracles. We delude ourselves into thinking that as long as we considered the idea of God, we have done all that we can do. Instead, God asks us to surrender to Him, to show Him that we are willing to trust Him and submit to Him, before He will show us His wonders.

God wants us to know Him, and He wants to show us more of Him and who He is but He also wants us to get the full effect which is only accomplished when our hearts are receptive to what He has to show us, not when we are skeptical of His existence to begin with. He wants to show us the world that Neo found, without rules or roads, borders or boundaries, a world where anything is possible…because He is the God of the impossible. But first we must realize the lesson of the spoon; if the world is going to change, the change must begin with me.

Here’s a thought…

2006-05-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

The other day I got home from work, sat down with a snack in front of the TV and watched Sportscenter on ESPN. This is a pleasure in which I seldom partake. The topic of discussion was the NFL draft and the impact that each person picked will have on his perspective team. I was pondering this and I realized that we, as a society, are placing so much meaning in this event because it has implications for how well our favorite football team will do in the coming season. For those of you who are in Alabama, think of it as the signing day for college football. These players coming out of high school will have an impact on these teams in the future, for good or bad.

Let’s put this in perspective: it is a game. I know I am committing heresy in the South by reminding people that football is only a game, but it’s the truth and leave it to Northerner to say it. (That’s actually why I care more about NFL than SEC because college football is not all that big a deal in central NY – SU country.) Sure, there is a lot of money at stake and team owners invest a lot of money in a team that will do well, fill the seats and perform well in the playoffs, but the fact remains that it is the players’ JOB to ENTERTAIN us. They may be disappointed if they lose, and we will be disappointed too, but the sun will still rise tomorrow.

What is it in our lives that we place so much meaning in that we forget what is ultimately meaningful, namely God, the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit, and this reality that He/they created. I know that in my line of work in academia there are professors and researchers who hold up their research and their work as ultimately meaningful and wonder why one would ever think their work is boring and don’t you ever refer to me as anything other than Dr. so and so. Maybe we do the same thing in church when we haven’t hit our quota for serving in the nursery, or hosting Bible studies, or however else you are involved in the local church. We find our meaning in what we do rather than who we are.

What if we put all of that aside and clung to what was ultimately meaningful and real? What if we focused on the One we serve and then let how we serve pour out of our love for Him.

I know this sounds a lot like my last post, but I think it is something that is on my heart now because it is getting close to summer (or actually, is summer) and recent summers have been the times when God has drawn me closer, and He’s doing it again this summer. Earlier in the spring I had a data collection job lined up, I wasn’t going to need financial aid; I had my summer pretty well planned. Well, that was shot to pieces and now I won’t have a job so I’ll have a bunch of free time to work on school stuff – unstructured time, which in the past has meant full mornings of just me and God…wonderful times. I know some of you are thinking laaaazzzyyy, but it has been these times of closeness that have sustained me in the storms of the school year, anchoring me to the Rock.

I’ve been reading Hind’s Feet On High Places, by Hannah Hurnard, again, and I just ended chapter 8 that ends with the Great Shepherd saying, “now shalt though see what I will do,” and that’s about where I am. I’ve come to the end of myself in so many places that I have nothing left to do but wait upon Him and see what He will do. I’m excited and anxious. I need to remember to just take it day by day, minute by minute.

Participate!

2006-05-02T18:00:00.000-07:00

Back during spring break, the group that I usually worship with on Sunday mornings didn’t meet because it’s with a bunch of college students and it was spring break so not many college students were anticipated to stay in town. So, I took the opportunity to join some of my friends who lead a house church for worship. It was great seeing them again, and singing songs and talking and drinking deeply of The Word.

One idea that we came to in our discussion was that of participating in church and not just sitting on the sidelines and watching others do lead and serve. Well, I was struck with a thought that has been with me since my days in Colorado that God is about relationships and He is constantly in relationship with the Son and Holy Spirit and when we become one of His children we are invited into that relationship, to share the intimacy, to be in Christ, and He in us (John 17:22-23).

I think one of the big reasons we see passive Christianity is because we think that once we are “saved” there’s nothing else. We have the fire insurance, Jesus is my savior, but we don’t treat Him as Lord. We fail to recognize what Jesus also said in his mighty prayer recorded for us in the book of John, chapter 17: “this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.”
The Father invites us to relationship…

That reminds me of another passage, more troubling in nature:
Mathew 7:21–23.
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evil doers!”

How else do you learn the Father’s will than by sitting at His feet and learning from Him; by reading His words to us? I just finished reading another blog post. The person’s goal for the summer is to rest in the Lord and seek Him. And there is no higher cause, but there is also no greater target for the enemy, who would rather we spend our time and love on other less worthy objects.

So (to bring this plane in for a landing) my encouragement is to seek first the kingdom, and to learn more about the Father and then seek to serve Him from a heart of love. But there is a world that will remind you of every other thing that you have to do. Be strong. Participate in the relationship to which you are called. You can’t get to know Someone without ever spending time with Him.

Words

2006-04-28T12:41:00.000-07:00

Words can have so much meaning depending upon how they are ordered or what meaning we attach to them. This is becoming more and more evident as I watch remakes of media. For example, there is a distinct difference between the version of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe as produced by Focus on the Family Radio Theatre, and that of the recent film. I knew the two would be different and I was prepared for differences but I was disappointed in the movie because of all the dialogue that was special to me that was left out. The biggest dialogue I miss is between Mr. and Mrs. Beaver and the children when the Beavers are trying to explain about Aslan. He’s the king and he’s a lion, and he isn’t a tame lion. The children ask if he’s safe and Mr. Beaver replies, “Of course he isn’t safe, but he’s good.” I understand that the significance of this conversation draws its power from the symbolism of Aslan as Jesus Christ but sitting in the movie theater watching the movie I couldn’t help but feel a little (or a lot) disappointed.

It’s the same thing for the two most recent film versions of Pride and Prejudice. The longer, more accurate A&E version runs 5 hours long but keeps the dialogue very well intact. The 2 hour Focus Films production kept some of the major lines, as well as some that provide a good chuckle. I recently watched both versions in quick succession to each other and felt that the Focus version was very rushed and one-dimensional. The audience only gets Elizabeth Bennett’s perspective, and even then it is without the dialogue with her sister Jane, provided by A&E, that shows the progression of her thoughts and experience. In the Focus version she is sitting on a swing…huh? Related to this objection is the failure of the Focus production to show Mr. Darcy’s side. He changes just as much, if not more than Elizabeth, and it is a tribute to the strength of Elizabeth’s character; but you don’t see that. Nor do you hear my favorite line in the whole ending of the A&E production (and probably the book also) during the conversation between Elizabeth and her father about the acceptance of Mr. Darcy’s proposal. Elizabeth ends her argument in support of her acceptance by saying that, “[Darcy] is truly the best man I have ever known.” And so the reversal of her feelings is complete but her words telling of her affection and confidence in the character of this man are more powerful than this one sentence. These words are empowering. I cannot think of any man who would not want the woman in his life to tell him, “You are the finest man I have ever known.” It applies the same for women as well I’m sure, though I’m not sure what form the finest would take.

Words can free and they can enslave. They can be a source of pain or a source of strength and encouragement.
Let us be mindful of our words then, that we may use them in a way honoring to our Heavenly Father, and those whom we hold so dear.

Surprised by words...

2006-04-19T13:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever sat down to write anything, and just been surprised by the end result. The other day I was journaling and this is what came out. I have been thinking about relationships a lot lately (me and almost everyone I know) and I share this with you as an encouragement to anyone who might need it. If you feel like you are in the wilderness don’t get inpatient…wait on the Lord and be open to His leading…You may be surprised by what happens.

"There have been many moments in my life when I have longed to share those moments with somebody special, a woman whom I love and who loves me back. During college, on my missions trips, many times that person had a name but time has shown that it was not time for love to be awakened. And at that time I did not truly understand what it meant to love, nor was my heart capable of that kind of love.

But the Lord, called me into the desert, to the loneliness and solitude of the wilderness where He would teach me and show me how to open my heart; to discover all that I could be. To learn how to run my race, and to learn what my race is. To learn what it means to seek Him first and His kingdom, and His righteousness. God has taken me to the wilderness and has given me gardens of joy. Where the roots of bitterness and pain ran deep he has sown a harvest of mercy, peace and endurance.

God, grant me grace to wait expectantly, and with heart open to what You will do. Let me not turn to my own understanding and own energies."

Ahhh....Beijing...

2006-04-18T07:38:00.000-07:00

One reason that I don't really miss Beijing...

Sandstorm blankets Beijing - Weather - MSNBC.com

I was only there for one sand storm but found the contrast between the dirty air and the florescent glow of the light bulbs of the classroom building amazing...
ick!

Wow...wha..?

2006-04-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

Has it really been almost two months since my last post?

Sorry about that. I just haven't made posting a priority of late.
Or at least I haven't deemed the thoughts in my head worthy of a post,
but here's one I wanted to share that came about this past weekend.

I went to South Carolina with some of the leaders in Grace Campus Ministries
(which I have mentioned before). We went to this lodge that is really close to GA, and NC in that western corner of SC (did you catch that).
It was good to be out in the woods to feel the wind in my face, to jump in a 60 degree late and not wear a watch for close to two days.
I had the chance to stop and listen, to hear this poetry of life that is composed by
the clapping of leaves on the trees, the calls of birds, the sound of the waves, and the laughter of good friends.

I think there are too many times that we don't stop to hear the poetry that is so closely woven into our hearts that if it were to stop so would we.

So needless to say I had an excellent weekend and now I am trying to finish my school work so I can finish my thesis so I can get this gorilla off my back (which is actually more like a chimpanzi - but it has still thrown way too much poo around).
And all this with three weeks of semester left.

Anyway...I hope to be seeing my internet community a bit more, and again, I apologize for my absence.

Renovation

2006-02-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to have your mind renewed?
(Romans 12:2)
The word study I use defines that word “renewed” as “a renewal, renovation, complete change for the better” (Wuest’s Word Studies from the Greek New Testament). When someone renovates a house they don’t just replace the wallpaper with paint and change the carpets. They take out a wall, get new cabinets for the kitchen, rearrange the whole place so you hardly recognize it.
So what does it look like when you have your heart and mind renewed?

I think it’s a bit like what the Grinch experienced in “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”. The heart that he had was two sizes too small, but when he realized that Christmas was about more than just getting toys, his heart grew three sizes. It busted out that X-ray machine! His heart got bigger, and anyone who’s heard me describe the growth I’ve gone through in the past two years has heard me liken myself to the Grinch.

It feels like my heart has grown larger, but I attribute this to how the Lord has gone into my heart and revealed a lot of the walls that have kept me cooped-up and in the dark; walls that have allowed me to hide, to be self sufficient, to not need Him. But now there are less walls and I struggle to find places to hide now. There is a freedom in that, though. There are fewer places where He is not. The places where I used to retreat to, where I could take comfort in the shadows that were out of His light are almost non-existent. It’s like going from having your own bedroom to having to share a studio apartment: it’s all open space.

But one of the scariest parts of knocking a lot of walls out of a house is that there is nothing left to support the roof and you worry that whole thing will collapse. This house that I have worked so hard to maintain, the only one I’ve ever had and probably ever will have (I can’t just change hearts) and it feels like the whole thing is about the collapse around me. And in the fear of that moment when you hear the creaking 2x4s and see one of the last walls buckle, Jesus comes in and says, “I can hold this up, I can handle the load. Will you trust me?” You have no choice but to trust and no other recourse than to follow Him. You have found freedom in the open spaces that you would not trade for all the privacy in the world. So you trust that it won’t fall down, you trust that Jesus knows what is best and you trust that everything will turn out fine. And things do turn out fine. Only they may not have ended in the way that you would prefer or if God were taking your advice you would not have chosen that ending. But you have to keep trusting that Jesus knows your heart best, knows how much pressure it can take and when it’s time to test the strength that His presence has lent to it.

Jesus is still working on my heart. I’m not sure how many more dark places I have but I know there are a lot less. And I know that I’m being tried, but being enslaved to darkness is so much more a pain than freedom to the Father.

Wow, February

2006-02-26T11:40:00.000-08:00

It doesn't seem possible that the end of February is already upon us.
Last weekend I was in North Carolina attending Quint State, which is a graduate student event, then I was recovering from Quint State and then I was catching up from not being in Auburn because of Quint State.
Then my parents came to visit, so I was hosting them. It's always fun having visitors, but it is also hard to relax when you know that you have other things going on.

But one morning while I was waiting for my parents to pick me up so we could go out to Breakfast, I had some time to just sit. I haven't really had time to sit and enjoy nature much, but I was sitting on the couch and looking out our front window at the tulip tree in front of our house. It has been blooming for about a week or so now. It has also been raining a lot and breezy, so there were petals flying off the tree.

I was struck as I was watching the different blooms that this blooming occurs every spring. Every spring the blossoms open up and are challenged by the wind and rain. Some of the blossoms have the strength to stay intact while others break apart easily. And then the leaves come, and go and next spring the blossoms come again to be tested by the weather.

It's sort of like life; or at least my life. Being in school lends itself to being in seasons more so than other lines of work. Each beginning of the semester I have the opportunity to make some of the same choices like whether I should be more involved with school work or with Grace Campus Ministries. Should I build relationships here or there? It's almost like the movie Groundhog Day, but without time repeating itself. I get to make some choices repeatedly, and others not so much, but I can't wait until I finally get it right.

Hello Again

2006-02-09T06:23:00.000-08:00

It has been a little while since I last posted...But only a little.
I have been busy with school work and my assistantship. Last week the place where I work, the Biggio Center for Enhancing Teaching and Learning, hosted a conference for engaging students in learning. It went very well and we were pleased with the number of people who attended, especially since it was our first try at this.
Now that that event is in the past I can focus on other stuff, like my thesis.
For those of you who are interested, I am done checking my data for errors and now I am looking at the characteristics of variables and fun stuff like that. The best part is that I am using a data analysis tool called structural equation modeling (SEM) for my thesis and I am in a SEM class and I am using my thesis as the project for that class. So, yes, the thesis will be done this semester. I am also taking a College Teaching course that is being taught by the head of the Biggio Center, and I am enjoying that class a lot.
Also, I am sitting in on our Advanced Research Methods class. When I took the course I didn't really understand everything that was going on, so this time around most of it is making sense.

I am working with Grace Campus Ministries again this semester, involved in community groups. I wasn't involved in community groups in the fall because I was afraid something with my program would fall through. Now that I am balancing my time between GCM and HDFS I find that I have time enough...amazingly enough.
Next weekend me and 3 other grad students are heading to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro for a grad student conference called Quint State that involves HDFS programs from 5 universities. Also, because Greensboro is only 2 hours from where my sister and brother-in-law live they will come down for supper and bring my visiting parents with them.

So that's what's going on with me, in a very general way. But one last thing.
In January I was reading through the book of Matthew and several things were impressed upon my heart that had not been before.
One of them was in Matthew chapter 11, verse 28:
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and by burden is light."

But have you noticed what comes in the preceding verses?
verses 25 to 27: Jesus said, "I praise you Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him."

Jesus is plainly calling God His Father, and I think it is only because Jesus is in the Father that we can place our burdens on Jesus. He can handle it.
Colossians 1:17 says, [Jesus] is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
I think sometimes we are afraid of totally surrendering our concerns to Christ because we are afraid that things won't end the way that we see is best. Yet, time and time again we are asked to trust and surrender. But we must also remember that he is powerful enough, he is strong enough. He can handle it, and it is he who works. And he is faithful. This is lesson that needs several lessons to be learned but "oh how sweet to trust in Jesus."

Stealing heroes

2006-01-18T20:45:00.000-08:00

I know, I’m adding a post to blog. Amazing isn’t it!! Well, I finally stopped putting off typing some of my thoughts, so here are some of my thoughts…but only some.
I don’t think you could handle them all at once. :0)

Over Christmas I got to see The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe twice. I enjoyed it! Just seeing characters that I have come to love in a film is fun. But I would be lying to you if I told you I wasn’t disappointed. During my second viewing of the film the changes grated me more. I won’t detail each and every complaint that I have because I know that most of my problems come from having memorized the Focus on the Family Radio Theatre version and holding that version to be the gold standard.

Probably my biggest difficulty is the fixation that Peter had on getting back to our world. He even suggested that his siblings return without him, as long as they are safe. Safety was never a part of the book. There was even an exchange (that was excluded from the movie) between the children and Mr. and Mrs. Beaver about how meeting Aslan isn’t safe, but Aslan is good. There is this courage that Aslan seems to give the children in the book that is not in the movie. In the book they seem to take on this mantle of kings and queens, whereas in the movie they seem to resist this destiny.

It’s the same thing that was done to Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings films. Throughout the first two films and some of the third film Aragorn resists the destiny of becoming king. He even says, “I have never wanted it.” In the book, however, when we meet Aragorn as Strider there is also a letter from Gandalf that was meant to be sent to the hobbits before they set off on their journey that suggests Strider as a helper whose name is also Aragorn. This letter also includes a poem about “the blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.” Frodo asks if the verse applies to Strider and he admits that it does and produces the blade that was broken and tells how “the time is near when it will be forged anew.”

Aragorn has a quiet strength that comes from knowing who he is and who he is becoming. It comes from knowing his lineage, his heritage, his story. Peter and the children have a strength that comes from the confidence knowing that Aslan was with them. This strength was lost in the film versions of these great fantasy books, replaced by a veiled strength in self-confidence and the charge to do what they can. And maybe that’s what it is: fantasy. Or maybe our culture has forgotten what it means to believe in something with a confidence that can’t be shaken. Perhaps we have been so jaded that when someone, even a storybook character, comes along who carries him or herself with this unshakable strength we have to make that person more “believable”.

And then I read in the Bible about a man who was born to save his people from their sins. His destiny was known for centuries, and he took strength in that destiny and his obedience to the will of his Father. His name is Jesus, and though the world may steal some heroes, he is the king above all high kings. There is confidence in him that cannot be stolen.

Really listening

2006-01-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back in Alabama, and getting settled in preparation for the semester.
I had a wonderful drive back between VA and AL and I got to listen to some cds that I haven't had out in a while.
One of those cds was "Songs" which is a compilation of songs written by Rich Mullins.
We often sing the choruses of some of his songs like "Awesome God" and "Step by Step" but check out the lyrics to the song "Sometimes by Step"...AKA Step by Step:

Sometimes the night was beautiful
Sometimes the sky was so far away
Sometimes it seemed to stoop so close
You could touch it but your heart would break
Sometimes the morning came too soon
Sometimes the day could be so hot
There was so much work left to do
But so much You'd already done

Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

Sometimes I think of Abraham
How one star he saw had been lit for me
He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he
And on this road to righteousness
Sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps
But never beyond Your reach...

Abraham, the father of our faith -
The journey to righteousness -
The grace of God -

What a treasure chest in one song!

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hello to you on this side of the new year festivities.
I have not posted in a while due to my parent's dial up service. Could I have posted?: yes. Did I want to deal with it?: no.

I hope your Christmas and New Year celebrations were wonderful!

I do have some thoughts to share but tonight I was thinking something else. I was checking my e-mail and remembering my class this semester. There is so much to read in my e-mail: news headlines, health updates...
And in my class I was graded on how much I had to say.

I'm tired of needing something to say. I'm tired of listening to people who have something to say. There are so many people to listen to but I just haven't spent enough time listening to the only Person who really matters.

Monday I am going to watch an Auburn Football game and then Tuesday I am going to enjoy a trip between VA and AL. I am going to enjoy the silence and I am going to enjoy the conversation.

Here's hoping that you will also take the time to listen.

Guess What!!

2005-12-15T18:35:00.000-08:00

The fall semester is over and grades were just posted today.
I found out that I received a B in my least favorite class:
Advanced Theories of Human Development and Family Studies.

Praise the Lord!!
I was totally resigned to the idea that I would be getting a C in yet another Theories class (I got a C in a masters level theories class) and here you are;
Merry Christmas!

And so Tuesday I am traveling back to NY to be with my family and hopefully catch up with friends that I only see once a year, if that often.

Merry Christmas to you all! Whoever and wherever you may be!
May you discover or rediscover the joy that comes of the celebration of our Savior's birth!
Grace and Peace
Phil

I forgot...

2005-12-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

During Thanksgiving I got to hang out with my really cool 2-year-old nephew. He can't play the bass, but he can head-butt his sister!

:0)

Hey there!!

2005-12-08T06:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a long time so I thought you would just let you all know that I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I had a paper due. Not just any paper, a paper that critiqued a book we read in a class about behavioral ecology by comparing it with 2 other perspectives we discussed in our Theories class.

As my major professor would say, a lot of Big brain cell time!

I did have a wonderful, fantastic Thanksgiving break! I got to hang out with my brother(in-law) as he did errands, I got to play in the leaves with my neice, sister and mother, and I got to assemble a swing-set with my dad. And I got to listen to the taped messages from college that have served to remind me and ground me in a foundation of who I am in Christ. Sometimes we need reminders. I usually get these reminders earlier in the fall semester because I take a trip to my undergrad Alma Mater for homecoming in October. But I was "too busy" or was afraid of getting behind. I think that may have set the business course for the semester.

Anyway, I drove back from VA Saturday, just in time to hit traffic from eager fans going to the GA Tech vs. Georgia game that was being played in Atlanta. I read for my paper, prepared for a seminar that I helped teach Monday, and handed the paper in on Wednesday. My semester is done, except for 2 small papers for a research methods class. Those are due Monday so I might actually get out to the movie theaters this weekend....The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe comes out!!

But I am babbling on so if any of you want to hear more feel free to call me...if you already have my number.
It's holiday time and now I feel like I can actually stop long enough to notice.

Things to come

2005-11-17T11:20:00.000-08:00

For those of you who might be following the odyssey which is my thesis, you will be pleased to know that I am done collecting data. Now I just have to enter it all in a computer, analyze it and write up what I found. Sounds like fun.

It’s also the week before Thanksgiving. We have all of next week off, which means I don’t have to go to campus if I don’t want to. I will still have plenty to do, but I’ll be heading to VA to see my sister, her husband, and their 2 kids. And my parents will be there too. :0)

It will be good to spend 10 hours in a car going to VA. I’m soooooo looking forward to Tuesday, driving along in my car. And then again after Thanksgiving. :0)

What are your Thanksgiving plans?

In His Strength

2005-11-15T18:19:00.000-08:00

I was wearing my hiking shoes to school the other day. It was my class day so I dressed down: jeans, t-shirt, comfortable shoes. I was walking through the arboretum looking down at my shoes and remembering all the places these shoes have been with me.
I bought them in Colorado. I took them to Greece; walked through Athens, the Acropolis, ancient Corinth and modern Thesoliniki.

I took them to China. I hiked the Great Wall in them twice, walked the streets of Hong Kong, Shang Hai, Guilin, Kunming, Xi’an.

They have been faithful travel companions, always prepared to take care of my feet.
And I got to thinking about Ephesians 6 talking about the armor of God. Verse 15 says, “with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.”

Am I ready? Are you ready? For what; I don’t know. There is something about preparedness here. Prepared to go where you need to go, do what needs to be done.

And when I think about preparedness I am drawn to Mark 9:14 – 29.
Jesus and his three closest disciples descend the mount of transfiguration to find the remaining disciples arguing with a man. A crowd has gathered.
The disciples couldn’t drive an evil spirit from a boy; the man’s son.
Jesus approaches, asks some questions of the father and heals the boy of his enslavement.
Later the disciples asked why they had no effect on the demon.
Jesus told them, “this kind can come out only by prayer.”

Were the disciples ready for this foe? It doesn’t seem to be.
And I look at my life, and pause. I can only say I need you Lord.
And He gives peace for the journey, and He gives strength for each step.
I’m feeling so restless now. I can taste the end of the semester and yet it is not over yet.
I know I have much still to do, but He calls me to rest. Peace, be still.
And tomorrow I will say,
“Your grace is sufficient for me, for Your power is made perfect in my weakness.”

huh...

2005-11-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

1 Colossians 1:16-17
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for hinm.
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together...

In graduate school we talk about a lot of theories. We have theories for child development, we have theories for identity development. I'm at the tail end of a class that has been talking about theories and paradigms and what science is about. In general physics is regarded as the most pure science, and yet physics has science. Newton had his laws of gravity and all that. Einstein his relativity. But they are theories. They are supported by evidence but they are created by human beings trying to make sense of the world around them; trying to describe how it works.

What if Colossians 1:17 is true: in [Jesus] all things hold together...there is no gravity, only God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit?
What if we lived like He was with us all the time?

On Becoming...

2005-11-01T06:52:00.000-08:00

John 12: 23 – 26
Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me."

Philippians 2:16 – 17
…as you hold out the word of life – in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.

Death is all around us. It is autumn. The leaves are dying and the trees are looking more bare. Daylight is expiring more quickly. And all around I see people, my friends, struggling to give their wills to God; to die to themselves.

Truly death is all around.

But it is the death that brings newness of life. Just as the caterpillar gives way to the butterfly, our rock-hard hearts must give way to hearts of flesh, that they may become new.

Two summers ago I was drawn to a field, “my field”, to seek the Lord. I put all else aside, the thesis, my work, and sat and sought. And I was told to look up the word “new” in my Bible Concordance. Have you ever done that? Amazing stuff!! Here is some of what I found.

Isaiah 43:18 – 19
Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something NEW, how it will spring forth: will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

Lamentations 3:22 – 25
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are NEW every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Ezekiel 11:19-20
I will give them an undivided heart and put a NEW spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. The they will follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. They will be my people, and I will be their God.

2 Corinthians 5:13-19
If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.
For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW creation; the old has gone, the NEW has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

And there’s so much more…!!!

And I cannot say that I am completely new either, but I can say, as Paul said,
“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus tool hold of me…I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:12-14)

I am in the process of becoming. A grain of wheat must die to bear fruit. Paul was poured out as a drink offering on the altar of the service of others. All of this so he could put off the man he was to become who is supposed to be.
It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.

It is autumn, but it also spring in our hearts - being renewed day by day.

We are NEW; may we live in the constant realization of our state.

Lessons From Running…

2005-10-25T17:58:00.000-07:00

When I started running for extended periods on the treadmill I was often encouraged when I remembered Isaiah 40: 31 – “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
…they will run and not be weary…those who hope.

And then there’s Psalm 37: 3–7, but especially the “wait patiently for Him” of verse 7. And then Hebrews 12: 1 – “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

Many times while running on the treadmill and in the shoulder I have wanted to stop, feeling pain and my body was screaming. And I was reminded of 1 Corinthians 9:27 – “I beat my body and make it my slave so that…I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” I have only discovered in the past three weeks when I could only find time to run on Saturdays, and even then only two out of the three Saturdays that running is how I remember to put to death my flesh; not to give in to what it asks. I die to self. I need that reminder more often than I run.

Then there was the time I was doing a speed workout, running four or five sets of 1200s (3 laps around a track). I was coming around the last corner of a 1200, wanting to stop when I heard the words, “how much do you want it?” in my head.
How badly do you want to reach that finish line? I accelerated. I was going faster than I thought possible moments before. “I’ll show you how bad I want it.”
And I wonder how often in my life I hold back because I don’t know what will happen. I hold back words or actions in relationships or in my work because I don’t want to give that much of me…it hurts. I hold back. And a voice says, “show me how badly you want it” and I am reminded to go with my whole heart, don’t hesitate.

Another time, on a long Saturday run I was about half-way through when I heard a voice behind me ask for directions. I looked back to see another runner catching up to me. He explained that he had lost his way in the park and wondered where the bike trail was. I told him where it was and we ran together to his car. He was going much faster than I, and it was difficult keeping up with him for a while. I was thankful at first because I tend to run better when I am with someone, and he gave me strength to continue where I wanted to stop. We ran to his car and parted ways and I stopped to walk. I had another 1.5 miles to go but I couldn’t. I used all of my energy keeping up with “mystery runner.”
As I thought about the timing of this encounter I realized that I was also trying to compare myself with other students and trying to work at their pace and not my own. I wasn’t running my race. If I had kept my pace and just let him go, I may have been able to go the distance…maybe. But I’ll never know. But I know the pace I need to be an effective graduate student, and that wasn't what I was doing.

Run your race. Throw off all that hinders. Put to death the flesh.
Go at it with your whole heart.
Wait on the Lord and He will renew your strength.

Running

2005-10-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

I love to run. Yes, I did use that word “love”. It started in high school when I was on the track team because the baseball team was pointless. My goal was to stay in shape for soccer season and baseball just wasn’t doing it. Besides, I wasn’t all that good at baseball and most of my good friends were on the track team. So I ran the 400m and threw shot put. I never won a race and I never placed in shot but I did push myself. My first year of track was probably the biggest challenge I had faced in my young life: showing up after school to cause your body pain.
Fun times!!

I think one of the reasons that I never won a race, nor even crossed the line in front of another runner is because I wanted to run well, I wanted to do my best and I would come out of the blocks ahead, but about halfway through the race my body would seize up and everyone else would pass me and I just wanted to get to the finish. I didn’t know how to settle down and just run. I couldn't enjoy it.

In college I tried to keep up with running. One of my friends (you know who you are :0) and I would get up early during the winter of our senior year and go running through the Ohio snow, as the moisture of our breath froze and formed frost on our hats and “ski masks”. But it was fun because we were running and we were together and sharing this common life.

When I was in Beijing I also tried to keep up with running but only short distances around the campus of the university where I taught. Running the short distances continued when I got to Auburn until one of my friends (you know who you are :0) started training for a half marathon and I challenged myself to running 5 miles one morning. So I ran 5 miles. And I rediscovered the love of running that I learned in high school. This time there was no pressure to cross the finish line first; there was just me and the treadmill. The joy of training.

These times when I run have become very special to me because I have time to clear my head, to think about life or nothing at all; to just focus on my breathing and my strides. I also have time to focus on God. During my times on the treadmill and later running on the road I have been taught a number of lessons. Running has become a metaphor, if not THE metaphor of my life.

I would write more but I planned to go running now...
Tune in next time for: Lessons from Running....

Of Clouds and Stones…

2005-10-15T14:26:00.000-07:00

The other day I was reading Warren Wiersbe’s “A Gallery of Grace.” I was reading the chapter about a stone in God’s Building, and that stones that work to edify or build one–another up. We love one–another and spur each other on to maturity.

Hebrews 5:6 b says, “We are His house, if we hold on to our courage and the hope of which we boast.”

We – each believer – is a brick in the house of faith. Those believers who have come before us are the foundation; they have left a legacy for us to follow. Hebrews 11 tells about many of the people who set the foundation of faith for God’s building. It is because of these people – this “great cloud of witnesses” – that we can also stand in faith, throwing off sin. And Jesus is forming us to be the stones to fit in our place to be built upon in the future. We are being shaped as we also work to help shape others.

And still, Jesus is the cornerstone; the chief foundation rock that gives strength and form to the foundation. We are built together to be a dwelling place for God, united in our purpose to serve and praise God to the glory of His Name (Ephesians 2:19–20; 1 Peter 2:4–10).

But I can't help but ask, are we building? And are we building on Jesus, our foundation?

Playing in the Band

2005-10-07T16:08:00.000-07:00

This is from the archives. The spring break during my senior year in college was spent with the Cedarville University Brass Choir. I play trombone.
We went to Greece for 10 days. We went to Athens, Corinth, and Thessaloniki playing for evangelical churches, accompanying a Greek evangelist who has a ministry in New York City. We were witness to so many things. This is a passage from my journal in the days followed our return to the United States.

"Reflecting on Greece, I think the experience helped me to realize how much we really need to depend on God for everything. Through the whole week we needed God for strength and intervention when we could do nothing. He was with us the whole time. He is truly there working, and though He could bring a revival through His own strength, He chooses us as instruments to sound His praise, and His message. But we must be obedient to the message and His prompting to play."

Rain in Auburn

2005-10-06T11:10:00.000-07:00

I love rain. Most people think it’s dreary. I don’t think so.
I think it invites you to stay in a warm and comfortable place with a good book and a cup of coffee, and enjoy peace for a while.
I like rain because it rinses the dirt and dust off of my car and other things.
Sure it makes it muddy, but how often do you walk in the dirt.
Rain refreshes the earth; it makes things green. It refreshes my soul as well.
Somehow, as the dust is rinsed off my car, the dirt and grime of so many days of striving is rinsed off of my spirit. I can sit and watch the rain, listen to the gentle drops and feel a coolness in the air.

I love autumn too. For me, it isn’t autumn unless it rains about as much as it doesn’t. That’s what happens when you grow up in New York (state) and go to college in Ohio; two places not known for sunny weather. (Or is it just me?)
Rain in autumn mixes with the layer of multi-colored leaves and gives off that smell that only comes in autumn. The smell of playing in a pile of dead leaves, the smell of playing football in the backyard with the guys, the smell of soccer games and soccer practice.

Rain is also a good way to mark the days. So many sunny days run together, but each drop of rain evokes a different memory. A Memory Walk during college, a soccer game in high school, the return trip from the Great Wall, a hostel in Kunming; a flood of memories.

Maybe I have been daydreaming a lot…no, I know I have been.
I have been reminded of so many things lately and I don’t know why.
I might be because it’s autumn

Day dreaming…or just dreaming

2005-09-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

I went to China today…

I was reading a chapter (for my job) about how an English professor was putting together a teaching portfolio to evaluate his teaching and he realized that he neglected to assess student improvement in writing. As I sat reading his account of this realization a rush of memories came at me from my mind’s eye…memories of teaching in Beijing.

I remembered conferencing with students about their writing, coaching them about decisions they made and could make – I remembered their smiling faces and their laughter.

I remembered the old printer that our group leader had that allowed us to print copies that were compatible with the duplicating machine like the one my elementary school teachers used with purple ink. I wondered if the teachers now still used that process or if they have a better system now.

I remembered autumn in Beijing, yellow leaves, a chill in the air, rain on the Great Wall, and dirty streets. The smell of the air. The warm sun.

When I close my eyes I can see it all and I’m there again.

Lord, grant the day when it doesn’t matter if my eyes are open or closed.

Which side is the stern?

2005-09-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

I was walking home from campus today, and I was thinking, “God, do you love me?” and, “Do you care?” And my mind wandered to another time when the same question was asked, “Don’t you care?”

In the book of Mark, chapter 4, verses 35 to 41, there is the story about a time when Jesus had finished talking to the crowds and had retired to a boat to cross to the other side of the lake. Suddenly a great storm arose and waves were breaking over the boat so it was almost swamped. Jesus was in a corner of the boat sleeping through all the waves and rocking back and forth. The disciples went to Jesus, awoke Jesus and asked him, “Don’t you care if we drown?”

The boat was taking on water, the disciples saw no hope of rescue anywhere…death was a forgone conclusion. And these weren’t just pleasure boaters either…most of these men were fishermen. They had seen storms, they had been in storms, but this was a doozy! This was the mother of all storms!

Yet, the disciples had seen a demon possessed man restored, a man with leprosy who was made clean, and a paralytic man get up and walk. What was it about the storm that made them sure they were going to die? I don’t know, but how many times are we buffeted by hard times…circumstances not going as we had expected or wanted; disappointments around every corner. It’s storming on your parade. You cry out to God, “Don’t you care that I’m struggling?” “Why don’t you do something about it?”

What if Jesus hadn’t calmed the storm that night? What if Jesus had just let the boat sink and they were all left to swim to shore? Or would they have walked to shore?

Anyway, Jesus told the wind and waves to be still, and they obeyed. And yet we struggle when Jesus asks us the same thing… “Be still and know that I am God…Be not anxious for anything…”

There’s a song in which one of the lines of the chorus says, “Sometimes He calms the storm and sometimes He calms His child.” Take courage brave heart! Maybe you are enduring storms so you can see the wondrous work of a God who hears, and listens and answers. Maybe He is stretching you to see just how water logged you can get before you just want to give up.

Child of God, He does care, though you may not see. Maybe he just wants you to pull up another cushion in the stern of your ship and lay your head on His chest and rest.

Faith, Trust and Obedience

2005-08-30T18:05:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading the book, The Cost of Discipleship, by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and the second chapter is titled The Call of Discipleship. The main point of the chapter, as Bonhoeffer puts it, is, “only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes” (p. 63). Also, he says, “…faith is only real when there is obedience, never without it, and faith only becomes faith in the act of obedience,” and, “Without this preliminary step of obedience our faith will only be pious humbug…Everything depends on the first step…The first step of obedience makes Peter leave his nets, and later get out of the ship…This first step must be regarded to start with as an external work, which effects the change from one existence to another.” You get the idea.

Further, Jesus says in his illustration of the wise and foolish builders, “He who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who builds his house on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-27). James also writes, “In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

God often asks us to trust Him. Sometimes we know exactly what we must do and other times we’re not sure, but we know that we are not to do something else. My thesis is about trust in dating relationships, and trust is based on our confidence that someone will respond positively to our needs. For example, I would trust my girlfriend when she shows that she cares for my physical and emotional well being and is willing to act on that care by keeping promises, listening to my problems and just being there. In my experience, the relationship with God is much the same. Matthew 6:33 one more time: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness…” For me that means taking Tuesday and Thursday mornings away from the bustle and demands of academic life and spending those minutes with Him. For others it will be different, but the call is to act and to follow.

One more illustration from one of my favorite films: The Matrix. You may remember that near the end of the film, Neo has to make a choice. As he put it, “Morpheus believed something and he was ready to give his life for what he believed. I understand that now. That’s why I have to go. I believe something.”
“What?”
“I believe I can bring him back.”

What would have happened if Neo believed and did nothing? Nothing would have happened! But instead he goes into the matrix, rescues Morpheus, gets the girl and becomes the person he was destined to be. It was in his doing, the acting on the belief that made the difference.

If we believe in God, if we believe He is in control, that He can be known, and wants to know us, what keeps us from acting on our belief? Often that’s the difference.

Diversity

2005-08-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am a graduate student in Human Development and Family Studies at Auburn University, and that department is housed in the College of Human Sciences. The dean of this college has decided that a major emphasis of this academic year is going to be to “Celebrate Diversity.” Last Thursday we had the first annual convocation for celebrating diversity and upon asking some of my profs what a convocation is they replied, I have no idea; and yet we (students and faculty) were heavily encouraged (required) to attend.

So I went, and as I feared it was a parade of university dignitaries across the platform, each offering his or her views of why diversity is important. But there were three people who spoke who caught my attention and my imagination. Two out of the three people were African-American, but each one of them made diversity a personal matter. It wasn’t an “issue.” It wasn’t a “problem.” To them it was a reality, something to be joined into, to take part in.

I think that is why I was so cynical going to this convocation. When I hear the word ‘diversity’ I think of it in terms of race, differences in culture. Also, the “Celebrate Diversity” signs found around our building which promote the effort have the rainbow as the background, which has in recent years been associated with the Gay and Lesbian rights movement. I feel like people who promote diversity have their own agenda and it has nothing to do with differences between people, except to promote equality between people. Is this really what they’re trying to get across? Am I wrong in some of these assumptions? Is diversity the same as equality?

One of the people who shared his own experience of diversity, who made it personal, a person who has overcome some great obstacles in his life to become an academic vice-president at AU finished his comments and as he descended the stairs two women in the front row gave this man a standing ovation. All of us were applauding, and each speaker drew some degree of applause, but this one person seemed to have said something that was more valued than all the others. And I was very conscious of this, and conscious that most of the pictures on the slide presentation that preceded the convocation were pictures of women and people of color, and I began thinking, “Am I valued in this whole diversity thing.” I think that is part of the problem I have. Do they want a white male to be a part of this whole thing? And this may come from my assumption that when they say diversity, they may actually be meaning equality, in which case the reality is that Caucasian Males are not restricted from any opportunities in American culture.

I think I am digressing a little, and these are just some of the feelings and thoughts that have been swimming in my grey matter for the past several days. To cut to the point, I came to the conclusion that diversity is a reality. Diversity is, “the state of being diverse, or distinct.” When we value people because they are a different race, isn’t that racism? Don’t we really want to value people for who they are, as people, understanding their differences and not holding the differences against them? Isn’t this called empathy, the ability to see something from someone else’s perspective?

So I say, “Embrace Diversity and Celebrate Empathy.” These terms at least have less baggage for me.

A New Bumper Sticker?

2005-08-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

I was waiting in line at an ATM to check my account balance when a car passed me. I saw that bumper sticker, “God Bless America”, and as I have thought many times before, what if the bumper sticker said, “America Bless God.”

As I sat and thought I was reminded of that popular passage in Jeremiah 29, verse 11, which reads, “For I know what I have planned for you,’ says the Lord. ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.” But you don’t often hear the rest of that passage. What follows is more encouraging to me than 1,000 verse 11s, but so much more challenging.

Verse 12 starts, “When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. (verse 13) When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you.

Now here’s the hard part: “If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you,’ says the Lord.”

And then the Lord follows it with a promise:
‘Then I will reverse your fortunes and will regather you from all the nations and all the places where I have exiled you,’ says the Lord. ‘I will bring you back to the place from which I exiled you.’

This is a promise to Israel, God’s chosen people, and those who have been reconciled to God through the blood of Jesus Christ are in this heritage of faith, so how do we miss this? We as Bible-Believing Patriotic Christians complain about how bad things have gotten in our nation, and we pray for revival but we are often not willing to pay the price of our whole heart…our whole being; we are not willing to BE the revival.

And my mind wanders to a verse that I base my faith and even my life on, and continues to be a hard word to take: Matthew 6:33. As Jesus addresses people’s worries about clothes and food, he tells them, “But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Often we want the clothes and the car, and the two cars with the two car garage, and all our worries taken care of, and then we are free to pursue the Father’s Kingdom. But that is not what Jesus said; he said seek His kingdom first, and the worries will be taken care, you will have clothes, and the things you need.

It all goes back to “ME-centered” religion. We often hear in our public prayers, “Lord, bless us.” What if we prayed, “Lord, let us be a blessing to You”? Wouldn’t that make a difference? Wouldn’t that make all the difference?

Discarded Wood in a Nasty Harbor

2005-08-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

This is a story that was told by Joseph Stowell during a Chapel service while I was a senior at Cedarville University. It might also be found in his book, Loving Christ.

During one vacation Dr. Stowell had the chance to talk with his nephew’s girlfriend who was studying violin at the Cleveland Conservatory of Music. Eventually they came to the topic of Stradivarius violins.

“Isn’t it an amazing thing that Antonio Stradivari in the 1600s would be able to build a violin that has never been duplicated that would be the world’s greatest music treasure if you played the violin. Why is it that his violins are so uniquely beautiful?”

She said, “There have been many theories through the years. At one time they thought it was the varnish, but that has been discounted. Actually they’ve taken pieces of broken Stradivarius violins apart and analyzed the wood. They found that the wood that he used, that the cells of the wood are hollow, so that the wood is like thousands of organ chambers resonating with the sound in these hollow cells.”

I asked, “How did that happen?”

She said, “Anonio Stradivari was not a wealthy man. Like other violin makers he was not able to buy expensive wood to make violins, so he would often go down to the harbor and take wood out of the harbor; broken oars, the sides of broken ships, boxes that were floating. She said, in those days, and you know this if you’ve studied history, these harbors were horribly polluted. The sludge and filth of the sewers and the waste of the city would end up in the harbor. The filth and the pollution and the sludge around this wood and the microbes would get into the wood and eat the cells hollow. He would take this wood out of the sludge of the harbor and make it into a beautiful violin.”

I said, “That’s what Christ did for me! And my life, lost in the sludge and pollution of sin, eating me to be hollow. And then Christ came and took me out and rescued me and made me into what I am and fills that hollowness with the beauty of himself. That is the most beautiful picture of redemption I’ve heard in my life! And he has done that for you. And when you know that, you can’t help but love him.”

Redemption

2005-07-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like Jean Valjean, the character from Les Miserables? Have you ever thought about it? At the beginning of the story, as presented in the stage production, Valjean is a prisoner of the state because he stole a loaf of bread to feed his sister’s children. He then tried to escape two or three times, which lengthened his prison term. Upon receiving his parole, he could not make a decent wage because he was always branded as a convict…until one night when he dined and stayed at a Bishop’s house. After the Bishop’s household was in bed, Valjean arose and stole the silver and fled, acting in a way consistent with how others perceived him—as a criminal. Valjean was caught with the silver but told the police that the Bishop had given him the silver. The police brought him and the silver back to the Bishop to inquire whether this was true. In an exercise of grace, the Bishop confirmed Valjean’s story and then gave him the silver candle stick holders as well. The police withdrew because according to the Bishop no crime had been committed, but Valjean was confronted with the desperation of his guilt and what he had become. He was also confronted with the love and sacrifice of the Bishop, showing him inexplicable grace. Valjean tried to give the silver back, but the Bishop told him to keep it, to use it in his new life that he would live to God, and leave his life of crime.

And that is what Valjean did. He broke his parole and began a new life under an assumed identity, eventually becoming a successful factory owner and mayor of the town. Through it all he sought to exercise the same grace which was given to him. The criminal Valjean was no more than a memory until Inspector Javert, who had been hunting for Valjean since he broke his parole, arrested a man whom he believed to be Valjean. Having compassion on this innocent man Valjean went to court and testified that he was Valjean and not the man accused. Confirmation of this fact causes Valjean to flee from his past and from Inspector Javert. In the process of fleeing, and as an expression of mercy, Valjean takes into his care Cosset, who has been orphaned by the death of her mother, for which Valjean feels responsible. The girl and Valjean flee together to Paris, and live relatively unnoticed until years later when Cosset is a young woman and Inspector Javert is drawn to Paris on his search for Valjean. Many other events occur, Valjean and Javert struggling back and forth. In the end, Javert is confronted with the righteousness of Valjean’s life of sacrifice and love; this criminal who no longer behaves like a criminal. Unable to harmonize his views justice with the grace shown by Valjean, Javert throws himself into the river and drowns.

Isn’t this the same struggle that Jesus Christ had with the Pharisees? The Pharisees only wanted to give grace to those who deserved it, but Jesus showed love and grace to all who asked of him. And there are times when we might be Javert, unable to understand that what is past is past, and things are made new, consumed with earning the favor of God, and not accepting the grace so freely provided. When we cannot fully accept this grace, we also have difficulty fully offering it to others. Then we look at others who might be more like Valjean, who receive this grace and understand that others are equally in need of it, yet feel the distain and misunderstanding of those who discount the sincerity of their motives.

Les Miserables is a story about tragedy in the lives of many, and yet it is a story of redemption. A story of what a life arrested by the grace of God can do in the lives of others. Valjean was trapped in the mire of his guilt and of his past, yet the gesture of the Bishop, extending grace and love of God that no one else would offer struck at his heart and he was not the same man. Valjean’s life was not easy. Surrounded by so many questions about his past he disappeared so that Cosset could live free from his shadow. Yet Valjean did all this in love and dignity.

Lord, grant us the courage to extend to others this same sacrificial love.

Meet Frederick

2005-07-26T11:36:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Frederick. I just thought I would introduce you (and reassure those of you who had never heard of him that he really does exist).
This picture was taken from Frederick's Fables by Leo Leonni.

Phoenix Rising

2005-07-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

According to The New International Webster’s Comprehensive Dictionary of the English Language, the phoenix was a bird of great beauty, which was supposed to live 500 or 600 years in the Arabian Desert and then consume itself by fire, rising again from its ashes young and beautiful to live through another cycle. The phoenix was a symbol of immortality for several cultures, and as I think about it, I identify with the phoenix. As a believer in Jesus Christ as the way to know God, I believe that there is eternal substance to my being, but even more than that, in my life I have come upon troubles and difficulties which have been as fire to my soul.
I am a graduate student in Human Development and Family Studies, which is a cross between psychology and sociology (quick explanation), and is not to be confused with clinical psychology. When I leave my program I am supposed to be a qualitatively different person than I was when I arrived. I am supposed to have skills and knowledge that I did not have upon entering my graduate program. Through my course work and my internship, which is commonly called an assistantship, I am run over the coals, as a sort of trial by fire to teach me all I can in, what seems to be the shortest period of time possible. It is very difficult. One semester I was in two classes, and a grant writing seminar, while also holding an assistantship which required about 20 hours of my week, plus I had to find time to work on my thesis. I have since learned to downsize my aspirations for each semester, but the whole point is to make me something that I did not used to be—college professor material.
It is the same way with the Christian walk…or at last it has been for me. It seems that I go for a while not necessarily complacent, but not exactly challenged either, and then something happens that I did not expect or wasn’t according to my plan. Whatever my aspirations were became the heap of ashes that I am sitting in, surrounded by a dense fog of smoke. During these times I turn to God for answers, turn to the Holy Spirit for guidance, and find some new part of me that was hidden, that was walled off, and would not have been found if the fire had never started. Peter writes in his first letter, that trials come “so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Gold is purified by flames, which first reveal the impurities that float to the top of the liquefied gold, and then incinerates these impurities. As much as I know trials are for my good, I can’t say I enjoy the whole experience of the flames. And yet, I have learned so much about myself and my God just by letting the flames consume the unnecessary pride and insecurity of my life, and allowing Father to show me the redecorating He has done with my heart. And just as the phoenix rises from the flames a new bird, so I also become a new person, stepping even closer to that person that God desires me to be.